well it's the end of the year, basically

I have failed to keep this updated for another year, I've been off for the past couple of days. Thank you personal holiday's. So a quick update, I have a job working at Verizon, I bought a car (Black on black chevy impala), I'm looking for an apartment in Irving or Dallas, I'm studying for my GMAT ( getting an MBA for free thanks work)... speaking of work I now have health insurance ( I don't have a fear of getting sick) I am a real adult.

time to change

I've come to the realization that if I want certain things to happen in my life that I need to put up a large amount of effort to make them become reality. I need to push myself harder now, I'm 26 and I want things to start happening now. I also need to give more, so every time I attempt to make a purchase; I will challenge myself and ask if I really need it (in most cases that will be a big NO) and donate that money that would have gone to some frivolous thing to a charitable cause. No more spending crazy amounts of money on DVD's, shoes, clothes, bags, and random sweet confections. I also need to save money for my future anyway. I'm only drinking water from now on, no wasting money on sweet things anymore.

Is there anyone out there

Cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe.....

So ever since I've been sick (which I think has something to do with my allergies) I haven't been able to sleep at night anymore. That also wouldn't be bad if I did something productive at night. Oh the things I could/should be doing. Maybe I can organize my closet again, or write my book, or finish my TESOL class, or exercise, or meditate, or read, or get up to date on current events. Instead I watch TV, and movies that I've already seen.

I want to fall in love someday, but I fear that my other half doesn't exist. When I see couples walking together, holding hands, laughing; I just think to myself like when will that ever happen to me. Thinking about things make me feel pathetic, like I'm worthless, it makes me sad and I began to cry. My worst fears are becoming real. I am going to be alone forever. As all of my friends get married and have kids I will be alone. I will have no one to comfort me when I'm sad, to be excited when good things happen in my life (which I find never happen to me anyways) It's utterly depressing. I just want to stay buried in my bed forever. I thought moving back home would be nice, but I have nothing. I'm a prisoner in this house, I have no escape. My life is shit.

I'm pretty happy

I'm pretty happy right now, at this very moment. I received a package in the mail today from Archie that was filled with all of my favorite Indian sweets ( I really have good friends) I will be mailing her a cookie package probably Monday. I also passed out cookies to the homeless today with my dad and Nisha. It was a great experience and I will probably come up with something else to do for them. My brother and his girlfriend came over today and we chilled till 1am and now I am laying in bed. I was attempting to do my braids but I will probably do those later in the week because I am too tired and lazy to do that right now. I did cowash my hair today and slicked my hair into a bun and will be wearing a marly braid bun. I know I have to get up early tomorrow ( I guess today) to help my grandma get Easter Dinner ready. I went to church on Saturday

Easter Eve

As my little cousin said today. It is Easter Eve. I'm actually a bit tired because I have been baking like a madwoman. I baked over 200 cookies starting yesterday to give out to the homeless of Fort Worth. I made some sugar cookies with sprinkles, peanut butter cookies, chocolate chip cookie bars, and M&M cookies. Me and Nisha bagged them up and will be passing them out tomorrow.  I also had a pseudo sleep over with my little cousin and having kids around make you so tired. She basically stayed up till 3 am watching disney channel shows. We went and got snow cones, chocolate bunnies, and all kinds of sweet stuff. That probably didn't help with her energy levels.

I filled Easter eggs for the little kids at my grandma's house and me and Nisha will help her dye her eggs Sunday morning. I think we are going to church tomorrow because I don't want to go on Sunday, it will be mega crowded and that way I can go over to my grandma's and help her get things done.

Reading is fundamental

So I basically didn't fall asleep last night. I ended up falling asleep at 5am and I woke up refreshed at around 2:00pm. I had the weirdest sleep dream where I was getting married to Brad Williams from the show Happy Endings and the wedding was beautiful. Actually before we were to walk down the aisle I was in a hideous blue and grey gown, hahaha I would not wear a white wedding gown in my own crazy dream wedding. My sister was my maid of honor and she told me my wedding dress was ugly and too small. I agreed with her and changed to a beautiful beaded or sequined off white gown. Then I woke up. What the hell does that dream mean?

I then began reading, I'm back to reading Angela's Ashes. I cleaned my room, somewhat. I took down my braids and washed my hair. I'll probably put braids back in sometimes next week. I love having something protecting my hair because my hair has been growing a lot when I do not mess with it.

Me and my mom are supposed to be baking Easter cookies for the homeless sometimes this week, I don't know what kind but I think I am leaning more towards M&M chocolate chip cookies or peanut butter blossoms. I also need to make cookies to send with Archie, Kiran, Kirti, and Fatima's packages. I also need to send Sonye something in the mail. I have a lot to do.

I have been tempted to get business cards made promoting my tutoring services but I don't know

you know

I'm in this mood, I don't know if it's because of my new comfy bedding set or what, but I just want to stay buried in my bed, I didn't go anywhere today and I just left my bed for the essentials... like food. I just want to eat ice cream and watch romantic comedies all day. What a pathetic existence I live. I really want ice cream right now.

Update****
I just went to the store for random things like a new toothbrush and decided to get me some ice cream. I got one of my favorites Bluebell Homemade Vanilla. Damn thats good. I'm just going to watch movies and eat ice cream all night

It's been a long time

So basically it's been a while since I blogged and I have just been lazy to be honest. I'm trying to work on that a bit. I'm going to post about the desk I totally made over. In other news I had my birthday this past Saturday and it was actually pretty cool. First me, my sister, my mom, and my dad all went out for breakfast. Yay birthday breakfast, it was truly a fattening day because I ate Red Velvet pancakes. It's my birthday and I can get fat if I want to. Then I opened my presents. My sister bought me a new pair of Olive colored Toms, and a cute Aztec scarf. My mom bought me all these bath products and a card full of cash (the best present a girl can have). Later that day I checked my mailbox and received a package from my friend inVirginia, she's my way cool friend and it was so great. It had a wonderful card full of memories from Freshman year at Texas Tech (We met in English 1301) In this package it had my favorite Coconut Lime Verbena scents of lotion and spray spritz, and it also had a book African Queen by C.S. Forester (who is one of my favorite authors) It was truly amazing and thoughtful. Well my dad fired up his newest grill and we had a cookout and it had all of my favorite cookout foods and family came over. It was nice and a bit annoying. My cake was so so so so so so delicious. It was my favorite flavors combined thanks to my sister for ordering it. It was a three layer white cake with lemon curd in the middle and cream cheese frosting and dusted with coconut. It was so good and served with a small scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream. It was a great day. All of you who possibly read this blog, or if you know me, you know that I have a twin brother. He had to work on our birthday so we hung out and exchanged our gifts on that Sunday. I got him a Michael Kors belt and one of those skinny ties he likes to wear. He bought me an amazing yellow bone china tea set from Teavana, and orange blossom tea, and a tea ball. I can't wait to get a job and move out and display all of my cool things.

Speaking of jobs, I've been getting calls back based on my resume and such but those places aren't where I see myself working. I know that the right opportunity will come by soon. I applied for a few more places today.

I think my room is finished, I just need to buy a full body mirror for my room, I bought a new comforter set and my room looks kind of cool and adult-like. It was one of those random purchases because I went to Target to buy mugs for my Indian friends ( I'm making them cute little care packages) and I ended up buying a new comforter, sheets, throw pillows, and all sorts of cute things. Me and Nisha are starting the whole decorating our bathroom and we just bought a shower curtain that we both liked and I saw some cute floor mats from World Market that I may pick up tomorrow. Maybe I will score some cash tonight from the kid i'm tutoring. I miss tutoring college kids, 4th graders are rough to explain concepts to. I have a new appreciation for elementary school teachers.

I  think I'm going to half-priced books tomorrow to find some math books for her. I also sort of am trying to not eat as much sugary things. I have gotten so fat living here, sad problems I know. I need to find some things to spend my birthday money on. I bought a cool cross ring and some stackable rings. I think I need some spring dresses.

COMING SOON

I have a bunch of new things to post, my room is coming along great I just have a few things left and it will be finished... Pictures posting of the DIYs I finished going to be added.

DIY Tufted Upholstered Headboard...

So  I finally had the time to sit down and do this project and I am extremely happy with my results. I did this all by my little self and I had no help.

I've wanted this headboard for the longest time and I will definitely be making another one in the future. I found that the hardest part was choosing the fabric. It was so hard, or I'm just an indecisive person. The next headboard I make will probably be made using a velvet, or velvet like fabric.

Here's how the headboard turned out it's for my full bed.

To get to this point there's a couple of things you need

Pegboard (51x36) that's the size I wanted the headboard to be {$17.75 Home Depot}

2 yards of your fabric of choice (I chose a grey/ silver taffeta) {on sale $12.49 a yard Hancock Fabrics}

Spray adhesive {$5.88 at Wal Mart}

3 inch Foam (51 inches) this is super expensive {$32.99 a yard at Joann's so total $46.75} I had a 50% off coupon so I paid $23.37

I used 24 1 1/8 inch Buttons {These were $15.00 with coupons from Joann's}

Giant upholstery needle {$1.97 Wal Mart}

Upholstery thread {$1.99 Hobby Lobby}

Staple Gun and Staples {FREE}

Hot Glue Gun {$2.99 Hobby Lobby}

Glue Sticks {$4.99 Hobby Lobby}

Batting {$2.99 Hobby Lobby with 40% off coupon}



I should also mentioned that I set a budget of the cash that I had in my wallet which was $75.00, I was over my budget, this cost me around $100 but it is way cheaper than the $400- 800 headboards that I wanted.

I began this process by trying to map out how I was going to arrange the buttons and the spacing. I just jotted this down on paper and then used basic math to determine spacing

then I placed the cut pegboard (get this cut at Home Depot, they do it for free there) and placed my foam on top of the pegboard and placed the fabric on top just to make sure where to cut the extra fabric to make the buttons

I then took the fabric off  and marked where I wanted to buttons to go with a sharpie and glued the foam to the pegboard using the spray adhesive

I then added the batting but I did not glue this down and marked where the buttons go through with a sharpie

I didn't take a picture of me making the buttons, but those took a bit of time making all of those.

Next I placed the fabric on top and ran my first button through and pulled it tight and stapled the thread to the back of the board and then I used hot glue to also glue the thread down.

And I just continue this process row by row

When I finished all of the rows I then stapled the fabric that extended past the foam because you aren't going to see this part

I then folded and stapled all of the fabric to the back of the board

The headboard sits on top of my box spring and mattress it's awesome

Who Run The World

Have you ever just sat and thought about something so hard that you literally just wanted to vanish. I just want to hibernate in my room with a party pack of tacos and never surface. I just want to burrow deep into the ground. I read things, I see things about all these important women that are my age and I feel like i've done something wrong. These are supposed to be the happiest times in your life, young, full of life. I mean I just think to myself, if these are the best times, things aren't looking so great for me. I need a job, I feel pathetic, I feel like i'm not valuable to anyone at all right now. These are truly dark days for me and it.....

This is what makes us girls

So as a twenty five year old, I feel that I am coming to terms with the things I love and the things I really despise. One thing I don't think I will ever stop enjoying is anything lemon. I am a huge citrus fan and I don't know why I love lemon so much (I'm weirdly lying in bed eating lemon cookies while reading a book that just got delivered {I will discuss this book later}) I want to shout it at the top of some mountain top.... I'm Jasmine and I love all things lemon.

Me, Nisha and my Mom went on a pseudo adventure today that involved us going to Wichita Falls to check on my brother... blah don't want to talk about that so we wasted half the day 7:30 am to 2:30 pm gone but we did managed to eat lunch together and discuss various topics.

I came home to find a lovely package for me that included two dvds and a new book. Which I am reading now. It's Mindy Kaling's book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) I'm around 72 pages in and I feel like she is telling the story of my life....minus the Dartmouth education  and living in New York trying to make it big in the television entertainment world all while being a chubby Indian girl. I mean just replace Dartmouth College with Texas Tech University, switch navigating the concrete jungle of New York City with the construction riddled highways that plague the DFW metroplex, don't forget to change trying to make it big in TV with just trying to get any entry level job working in the financial industry and you have me in a novel. Oh and no chubby Indian girl just a chubby overly confident Black girl... we are on the same wave length that Mindy and I. So I'm finding a ton of inspiration to follow my dreams and all of that but why I'm really loving this book is that she is a normal person like me. Babysitting and all. I need to stop being lazy this gives me the motivation to continue to look for fulfilling employment and that I have stories in my life that need to be written down. Maybe one day I can have my face on a novel for people like me in the future. Thats crazy.

Is it sad that when my mom offers me money that I take it. I feel like i'm in high school but my allowance is much bigger and I do a lot less for it. I can't wait to have a job so I can be less inclined to accept her money... but who passes up free money. Speaking of money, I found 11 bucks today while I was in Wichita Falls just laying motionless in a prickly bush it was crazy. I believe God left it for me to find. I know that may sound weird, and I thought about buying movie candy with it in the theater (you know that movie theater candy is so so so expensive) but I'm donating it to a church cause. $11 doesn't sound like much but I think a food bank can make 55 meals or something that I read in one of those little mailers so that is what I am doing with it.

I bought a blazer yesterday, not the Chevy Blazer, I don't think they make those anymore, but a cute statement blazer. It was on the cheap so I don't feel guilty. I think i'm going to go buy hair so I can braid my hair later next week, and I may just put some burgundy in there. Tight!

My comedic hero

I have a major headache

I think i'm about to fall asleep but yeah today I slept in until 12pm. I could not fall asleep last night. I didn't fall asleep until 3am or so because I was looking up room decor oh and I got a new cream color chair for my room. I'm excited.

I watched the Golden Globes tonight, it was meh, some funny bits. I also watched Downton Abbey and now I'm watching Girls.

I need to get my life together... geeze. I applied to around 10 companies this weekend, I need to get some interviews rolling in.

My mom asked me when I was going to buy paint for my bookshelf, I'm like I don't have any money. She just goes oh.... as if she is surprised. I haven't worked since December 12th, and it was sparse because it was during finals.

Here's a picture of the chair I'm thinking of making a slip cover, but I may not and just invest in a cool throw. It looks like their are stains on it but I think that is just shadows with the lighting. All and all it cost me zero dollars. I'm making over my room on a budget so it's nice to scour your parents home and beg them for cute furniture.

I need to find some cool fabric for curtains, and for a cool tufted upholstered headboard I plan on doing.
here's my inspiration. I know it's definitely going to be rectangular because I don't want to invest in saws right now. I also need to figure out my fabric choice.

I also need to start collecting embroidery hoops to make some wall art by using scraps of cool fabric. I will be hitting up thrift shops in my near future.

Then I need paint, and a tapestry, and a rug, and possibly a new down comforter. A shoe organizer too. and hooks for my bags. I actually have a lot to do and get. I'm in no rush though.

Job Hunting still a go go

I applied to around 10 companies today, I need money quick. Tired of mooching off of my mom for everything. I did make them spaghetti for dinner so that should account for something. I went to Denton with Nisha today and it's weird walking on other campuses and not seeing brown... brown dirt, brown trees, spanish tiles on roofs. I miss Texas Tech and it's beautiful campus. I know see how my fellow alumni feel when they leave Lubbock for good. Texas Tech will always have the tiniest place in my heart. Speaking of Denton... I hate it, full of hipster wannabes. I just about vomited every where I walked. Good luck to my sister, I know she will be counting down the days. I fall asleep thinking about future jobs, I'm actually getting nervous about interview outfits, and work attire. I'm starting to wish I had entered into an occupation where you were allowed to be creative, and you were encouraged to be an individual. I would wear the coolest outfit, but instead I will be entering the financial industry where you better be wearing black, navy, or grey and you better be in a suit and demand respect, and exude professionalism because thats how people expect their employees to dress especially when dealing with other peoples money.

I think I'm going to eat some spaghetti and watch more Deadwood

Oh tomorrow I may just unpack my bags and shoes, they are still in giant suitcases. On the 17th I will have lived here for a month, the time is flying by.

wave a penny under your nose

hahah I've been rewatching Deadwood and I realized that I have great taste in tv shows. I mean I bought the complete series of Deadwood about three years ago and I've watched this show when it aired on HBO back in the mid 2000's. I just love historical fiction dramas. I also slept in for a good bit of the day and it didn't rain as much today. I braided my hair today, I actually just finished but I want them a bit longer so I will be adding more hair to them. I think I have enough in my closet because I don't want to spend money to buy more.

I sold my Public Finance book back to Amazon and I got a credit for about 78 dollars, yes ( Tech only wanted to give me $10, ripoff) so I bought a couple of things on the cheap today, HDMI cable, and then a mini display port so I can now watch things off of my Macbook on my TV. So many cables.

Lastly I bought a CD. I actually had this cd back in 2006 or 2007 from my roommate Sarah, I sweet memories. The CD wasn't mine and I was too cheap to buy it when me, Sarah and some friends went and saw this group when they came to Lubbock and I fell in love with these sweet tunes. The CD was on an old iPod of mine but I can't find it and yeah I just decided to buy it now and I am glad I did. It's Thao & The Get Down Stay Down. The Album is titled We Brave Bee Stings and All.

I think I'm going to listen to it and drift to sleep. Me and Nisha are trekking to Denton tomorrow to get her school things taken care of and maybe stop by some yummy food along the way. It's going to be an adventure.

so I'm really lazy

So today has been so rainy in Fort Worth, I feel like I live in Seattle or something. It's so gloomy, dark, and depressing. I need the sun and my dog doesn't like going outside to use the bathroom. So I decided to braid my hair but I was too lazy to do more than five braids out of 50 or so. I just ended up doing a jumbo flat twist in the front with a high bun. Why am I so lazy? After that my mom told me that I need to figure something out to eat for dinner and I didn't feel like looking through their freezers for meat, so I was willing to go to the store and just buy meat but my mom told me there was shrimp in the freezer. I decided to go the Asian route and make a teriyaki stir fry. It was crazy delicious I added broccoli, snap peas, onion, red pepper, pineapple chunks, green beans, and mushrooms, of course shrimp (they were such a pain to peel) sesame oil, soy sauce, red pepper flakes, sirachi chili sauce, teriyaki, and garlic.

My mom always wants something sweet so I made a chocolate pudding cake, which I've made that many times because its fast and simple to make. So yeah I haven't had it yet, now I'm just hanging out in my room. Hopefully I will be able to accomplish repainting my vintage telephone table, I found some  pictures for inspiration, so I'm excited.

I love this color too, I don't know what color I'm going to paint mine yet

Monday Funday

So I've decided that I need to start talking about all my cool thrift store finds, especially since I'm back in the DFW. Oh and maybe I can talk about new music too, while I have so much free time as I apply for jobs. Before I get started on the thrift store finds I have been having a great time I've been reading Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt. I just bought the book at Half Priced Books at the steal of a deal price of $2.00. Yay I remember reading this book before and I have the DVD as well but I have the time to read the book over and I am happy that I bought it. Poor Francis, he had such a rough life. It makes me thankful for what I have.

So basically I drove to Lewisville and hit up some stores because I was basically looking for some cool items for my new place (hahah room in my parents home) I was looking for little Tchotchkes for my bookshelf (oh I'm going to repurpose a couple of things so I will try to do tutorials on those items) I found a sweet vintage owl but it was around $12, and I refuse to pay that much especially when I can get it in the clearance section at Urban Outfitters.

I know on one of my walls I want to do a crazy assortment of golden frames, a touch of Midas basically, weird but thats what I want to do, so let the collection of gold frames begin. I found this picture frame for $1.49 and the two little golden hexagonal mirrors for $1.99 each ( Super cheap )

Also I like collecting different mugs, because my friends like drinking wine, cocoa, tea, coffee out of crazy mugs. Besides thrift stores have the coolest mug and with a go through the dishwasher they are like new. This one only cost $.65! Yay me, I'm going to call this one Freddie or The Kruger

My most favorite find today is this crazy Aztec print pillow, it only cost $.95 that is crazy I would be willing to pay $10- $15 on some crazy website because I sort of like the tribal look of it. And I love having a lot of cool pillows on my bed.

I can't go anywhere without buying clothes, so I managed to buy this cool button up Chambray shirt that I may dip in bleach for a sort of Ombre look. I'm not sure, but the shirt was half off so it was $3.99 so I ended up paying 2 bucks. Score, I can wear it casually or dress it up with a skirt and some jewelry. So many possibilities.

I'm trying to experiment with making headboards out of cardboard, I think I have the idea. I didn't want to experiment with expensive fabrics so I bought this fabric which it really isn't the best fabric to choose it's sort of a jersey knit and it's see through. I'm going to go to Joann's and get some kind of Gold Brocade fabric.

Lastly music, one of my favorite things. I just bought Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. I've wanted this CD for a while and I had a 2 dollar mp3 credit on Amazon and they had the CD on sale for $3.99.

I also walked in the living room the other day and heard my dad listening to this crazy folksy, indie sounding music. My dad said he liked this band because it reminded him of some blues, kind of hillbilly rock. My dad also likes Arcade Fire... he's a weird old guy. The band is The Swell Season and the album is called Strict Joy. I listened to this CD with my dad and it sounded cool, something I would actually purchase myself. Me and my Glenn Glenn are so much alike.

And so it begins

Well I'm back to blogging.... and it's 2013!

Update on me: I'm finished with school I've began the long process of applying for jobs now, Oh and I moved back in with my parents. It's not that bad I don't pay for anything and I have my own room, well my sister moved back as well, so we have our own side of the house. I will be 26 in a few months and I just want to have an actual job and start paying for things. Right now I have no money, well I have a little but not a lot. I really need a job so I can pay Tech the 5000.00 that I owe them for my last semester so they can release my records, start paying back my student loans, buy a car and get an apartment. Adulthood is not cheap. It's actually starting to sink in that I will have no money for a while unless I win the lottery. How depressing.

I applied for three jobs so far, and of course I hope that I get hired at one of these companies.